#GirlLove

Okay people, get your minds out of the gutter.

Girl Love is not what you’re assuming it is.

Source: http://www.etsy.com

 

Let me clarify what #GirlLove really is and why it is relevant to each of us.

Ever found yourself chilling at a café or a bar when this girl walks in with a couple of guys and you brand her a ‘bitch’ or ‘slut’? God forbid that girl wears something that stops above her knees, cause then she’d be a ‘mega slut’. Oh my God, she drinks? ‘Giga slut’!   (geddit? Mega..Giga.. :P)

“Urgh, she’s such a bookworm”

“I bet she shops at Fashion Street”

“She has no life”

“And she came back home at 4 am!”

“She got the job because of the length of her skirt”

“Did you know she was chatting up that guy yesterday?”

Have you uttered similar statements?

If No, that’s great!

If yes, ask yourself why. Was that necessary? Maybe it elevated your ego for a few seconds, but did it impact anything meaningful?

While travelling the world, YouTuber Lilly Singh (@iisuperwomanii) saw the gravity of girl on girl hate and wanted to quell this. She started #GirlLove where she would post a picture of her and a girlfriend, and write about why she appreciated and loved the latter. That’s where I got the hashtag from.

Why do women hate on other women when we should be standing together to crush the patriarchy? Ask yourselves why we’re bringing other women down.

Beauty, money, popularity…aren’t these menial when it comes to sisterhood, harmony, friendship and bonding?

If we want the world to see us as equals, we must first see each other as equals. No sense of one-upping the other.

Let’s be a little more appreciative and a little less judgy about other people in the world, beginning with our own kind.

My friends and I picked up a concept called Galentine’s Day from a TV show. It’s a celebration of your female friends on the day before Valentine’s Day. This is one small step towards putting an end to girl on girl hate.

On 13^th Feb 2015, a couple of us met for lunch and exchanged small gifts, like bookmarks and the sticker below-

Source: http://www.feministapparel.com

As we’re halfway through Galentine’s Day 2016, let’s initiate and spread the love among ourselves.

Here are a few memories and anecdotes by, about and for women –

 

From the desk of Sanaya Ferns..

This is how I met my best friends.

The first I met at the age of 6. Runty, and with really bad teeth, I was an awkward child (soon to bloom into an awkward adult.. with dental work!). But one day, a tiny, determined little girl who seemed to dare the world to try and mess with her fought with someone to sit with me (setting the course for everything she’d ever tackle – she won, hugged me, and sat down like nothing happened!).

It seems silly now, but for the first time someone I barely knew liked me! Though we stayed in the periphery of each other’s lives, we weren’t really close till nearly 8 years later when we started hanging out. Many, (sigh…so many) years have passed since then but even now, she remains one of the fiercest, most loyal people I know, ready to fight anyone who’d put me down – even me.

The next was always around school, a popular girl who had a nice word for everyone, including that weird one who hung out with the nerds and delinquents, reading during breaks (but got braces finally!). Sure we talked on and off but nothing really clicked till one music class she caught me humming to myself.

“Hey, what song is that?”.

Quickly, I changed the subject. Singing like a toad to someone who hung with the popular choir girls was embarrassing. She insisted till I reluctantly sang out a bit. Waiting for the usual ‘snort and giggle’ I was surprised when she very seriously went, “I like it. Can you write down the name?”

And so we talked. And talked. About books, music, movies, TV shows and another common friend (someone I remembered from when I was 6…)

The three of us have gone through drunk nights, fights, deaths, road trips, hospital trips, lesbian rumors, heart breaks, assholes, not assholes, random classes, college, work and yet I look forward to so much more with them around!

As women, we teach ourselves to work hard for our independence. When faced with life, work (Beyoncé) we are determined to ensure our vulnerabilities are packed up and shipped out. Sometimes, this makes us underestimate the support system we have. The mesh of love, strength and “Oh thank God, I do that too”s we can weave together makes us better people. Look around at the women you care for. You may have found them in school or you may have just met them. They may be 2 or 7 or 20 but they are your tribe. And when you find your tribe, work hard to keep them because they’ll make you a better version of yourself.

xx

Mads Khadilkar writes..

I think I’ve been really lucky to have a lot of girlfriends in my life, so picking one moment over another isn’t really easy. But one that particularly stands out is when Pratiksha, Shreya and I went to Marine Drive together. It was a pretty shitty day and we just decided to bunk an entire day of college and head off to SoBo. Marine Drive is one of our favorite places. All three of us have very different personalities, but the one thing we definitely agree on is that there is nothing better than sitting by the sea, listening to the waves, wind in your hair, with some of your best friends. We talked for ages about pretty much everything, right until the sun started dipping below the horizon. A couple of selfies later, the horrible day turned into a mellow one, and brought us closer.

xx

From Wolfie Iyer..

I’d like to preface this by saying that I’m a sarcastic person with a darkish sense of humour. So, of course one of my best memories with my girl friends is the time Madsy and I spent a metro ride making jokes about this dead guy that we saw earlier. It’s not as awful as it sounds – we had passed through a funeral on our way home from seeing our friends, and the nervousness we felt at seeing the body and sensing the seriousness of the proceedings translated into making jokes about it.

“Are we going to hell?”

“Definitely.”

“Maybe we’ll see the dead guy there.”

(See? This is what I’m talking about)

It was 45 minutes of morbid, offensive humor. It was not sunshine and walks in the park. But the memory kind of gives me the same feeling, and that’s what sticks out. That’s why it’s memorable.

xx

AmrutVee R. writes..

Okay so let’s see.. best memory with your girlfriends..

I have two friends from my 12th std classes who I’m really close to – Anagha & Rutuja – and we’re all in totally different streams, so we never actually got time to catch up.

Ron had this cooking fest thing at Rizvi (his college) and he wanted me to come cause it would be fun, and I told these two girls that “Hey, we haven’t caught up in a long time, and also, there’s food, so do you want to go?”

We went to Rizvi, we got food, and they got to meet Ron, which was fun, and we went to Carter Road cause it’s close-by. We took loads and loads of selfies and we met a baby who was really cute, went to Wafflist and had waffles.

It was such a nice day because we hadn’t met in 6 months and we talking like it was just yesterday!

xx

From Nivee Nair..

My best Galentine’s memory is when I spent it with my older (single) cousin sister buying underwear at Linking Road when I was in primary school. We decided to chill in Bandra, a few days before Valentine’s. Every shop or stall we went to, the shopkeeper or seller would try really hard to sell fancy lingerie or some crazy kinky shizz.

My cousin later said ‘This was a stupid day to go out!’. It was entertaining watching people getting ready for Valentine’s Day, and we went home laughing about the weird lacy, feathery, leathery stuff that was there. Scarred me for life.

xx

Ash Nikam reminded me of this incident from 2011-

She had a brand new purple colored Scooty, and rode it to the bus stop to pick me up.

“I’m not getting on that”, I said, realizing I’d have to sit pillion.

“Shut up and sit”, Ash replied.

As we proceeded towards her home, we approached a dug up road, and the ride got bumpy. At one point, I felt the scooter tilt, and for some reason, I got off it! This led to some crazy imbalance, and the Scooty (with Ash on it), landed on the road 😦

Later on, when it was time for me to leave, I somehow convinced Ash to teach me how to ride the Scooty. I have no idea how she trusted me with her scooter after the incident in the morning!

After an initial 3 seconds of pure thrill and a sense of accomplishment, it was time for me to steer the Scooty to the left and again, I lost balance! I got off with the motor still running, and the poor vehicle moved a few meters forward, did a brilliant skid, and landed on the ground again 😦

The next day, rumors were rife in Ash’s building that her friend had an accident xD

That day set the base of our friendship – accidents, clumsiness, scratches, bruises, but most of all… trust.

xx

Kruthika aka Bangsy’s cheesy quota of the day-

I cannot pick a single memory, because almost each one that I have had with my girls has been special

Starting with the best friend, Sne, even though we make one every other week, if I had to pick just one, it would be her birthday in 2010. She is a Christmas baby; hence the night started with Christmas Mass (which has been preceded by a evening full of wardrobe obsessing and regular refrains of “I don’t have anything to wear”) After the Mass, there was the usual pouring in of friends with cakes, gifts and general merry-making.
The final part of the night, we ended up playing Never Have I with the boys in a shady bar; so shady that we exited it using a back alley because there were cops outside. The cherry on the cake: Sitting on the hood of the car and having donuts right in front of the cops.
We have celebrated many birthdays since we have known each other. But this one will always be special for me, and not just because of what happened, but because of what it gave me. An old acquaintance was renewed that night which then blossomed into one of my most steadfast friendships. The night gave me Amit, who is now my second pillar of support, along with Sne.

A discussion of memories with my girl friends would be incomplete without a mention of this insane group I met at a Whovian screening. We were brought together by a TV show, but there is so much more that has kept us together, still.

I have two memories that stand out.
First being Tiramisu Twosday, a dessert crawl, where we went tasting Tiramisus (duh!). The We being Hark, Ash, Sanaa and Smau (honourable mention)
The desserts could have been the highlight of the evening, but experiencing this with the girls, was something else altogether.
The second memory is a very recent one. The day when Snux and Ziny went shopping along with me, on a random whim. It still amazes me how a simple activity like shopping becomes so much fun when you are with the right people for it.

Why I love these memories, is because I absolutely love them in these memories for just being what they are.
Never have they failed in bringing a smile to my face.
Never have they failed in making me forget everything that ails me, with all their stupid antics.
Never have they let me down whenever I needed them.
And the evenings were just some of the many instances of just that.

xx

How heart-warming are these stories! Let’s create some of our own, within and beyond our pack ❤

Spread the love!

Xoxo

 

GIF source: http://www.tumblr.com

 

P.S. I’m posting a few more stories tomorrow, so watch this space! 😀